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devil you know, part 1;
Luke doesn't think anything about it when he sees Michael's name pop up on his phone while he's on his way into work. The two of them talk on a semi-regular basis given that Luke prosecutes the majority of Michael and Janet's cases. But when he answers the call, he doesn't expect the first sentence out of his mouth to be "Mark Wallace is dead."

"What?" Luke blurts. "Fuck. When? How?"

"Sometime this morning. In the middle of someone's front lawn," Michael explains, balancing out Luke's rush of emotion with his usual calm tone. "Homicide found him and then they called me."

"Obviously." That part doesn't surprise Luke at all. Wallace's release from prison and the circumstances of why he'd been there in the first place had been all over the news again as soon as it was made public. "Okay, text me the address, I'm coming over," he decides, stepping on the brakes before he makes a very sharp and possibly questionable U-turn at the next intersection.

This is not his job. His job is to make it to the office and do some case review before sitting in on some interviews that Pat Ryden is doing later in the afternoon. But in Luke's head, it is his responsibility. With Janet in California it's his turn to back up Michael. There are other FBI agents who will do that officially, but they don't understand the emotional aspects of it the way he does. They won't know the political implications either. So despite not being an investigator and still not liking any time he pretends to be one, he's putting the address into his GPS and then calling Bryan Alexander.

"I'm not coming in this morning," he says as soon as his boss picks up. "They just found Mark Wallace's body on somebody's lawn."

Bryan doesn't need to be told all the reasons why Luke thinks this is his problem. He's the one who caught Luke looking at the original case file a few weeks ago, and while he doesn't remember that Luke is friends with Michael, he understands that Luke isn't going to wait for a situation this big to come to him. He wants to head it off now. It's a smart move in terms of PR (even though he's absolutely certain Luke hasn't even thought about that) and may allow them to build a better case, so he lets this one go. "Let me know what you find out," he replies. "Do you know anything yet?"

"Not other than that somebody killed him. If you hear anything—"

"—I'll tell you. Don't do anything stupid," Bryan warns him and Luke knows better than to argue. He clicks off the phone and can't resist slamming his head back into the seat. "Fuck," he says again, louder now because any way he looks at it, this is going to be a mess. There is no way that Mark Wallace's death a month after he got out of prison will be a simple homicide. Plus the media attention and the emotional complications. He forces himself to stop thinking about it before he gives himself a headache, following Christie's advice to focus in on the one thing that matters in the moment. What matters most is being there for Michael.

When he makes it to the crime scene, the process of getting out of his Lexus and flashing his ID at the uniform guarding the tape gives him time to deal with his confusion. A quiet street in a nice neighborhood is not where he'd expect Wallace to be found. An upscale club, maybe, or an office building, but not this. This would be beneath him, so why the fuck is he here? It's a question he files away as he catches up with Michael. "How are you doing?" he asks, putting a hand on his back in an awkward attempt at support.

"I'm fine," Michael replies. "Still trying to figure out the basics." He can deal with his own feelings about the murder later. There are other more important tasks to be handled at the moment. He shows Luke to the body, still laying on the lawn surrounded by a half-dozen police technicians looking for evidence. One of the officers standing nearby is Lieutenant Blake Frazier, the head of homicide for the Metropolitan Police who works every single crime scene, who watches Luke have the same perplexed reaction to the violent display in front of them. "Jesus Christ," Luke mutters. "Clearly this was personal."

"Medical examiner's counted over a dozen stab wounds so far, including defensive wounds on the arms. But we haven't turned him over yet, so it could be more." Frazier explains. "He suffered."

"Couldn't have happened to a nicer person," Luke replies before he can stop himself. Luckily he's still looking at the corpse so no one can hear him. He turns back to Frazier and Michael. "What's your first reaction?"

"The fight started out there in the street," Frazier explains, pointing behind them toward a section of the asphalt. "My guess is he got into an altercation with someone and it escalated. He's been here for at least a few hours, so we're looking at about four in the morning. No one's home, so that's not going to help us." He exhales. "What do you two think?"

"He had a hell of a reputation and never apologized for it," Michael replies. "If anyone else was holding a grudge, everyone knew that he was back out on the street." Luke doesn't miss the else included in that sentence, a small admission that Michael himself was still bitter. "We'll take this, if you're okay with that," Michael adds to Frazier. "My office handled his original case and I can't imagine any way this isn't connected to it."

"Yeah, sure," Frazier agrees because he was thinking the exact same thing. There's still a slim chance that this was a crime of opportunity—some random criminal seeing a high-profile target—but the odds of that are so miniscule that he'd rather hand the case off to the team more likely to solve it. "We'll finish the canvass and see if we find any video. Let you know if we uncover anything that's not related."

"Thanks." Michael's attention is pulled away when a uniformed officer comes up to Frazier and informs him that the homeowners have arrived. He can imagine explaining to them that someone died in their yard. "I'll let you go handle that," he says, and steps away so the police can finish doing their work. It's probably also good for him to get that moment of utter shock that he's put off since he got here.

Luke watches Michael as he runs his hands over his head and simply tries to process the new reality now that he can stop focusing on being an investigator. They'd talked early on about the possibility that Wallace caused some kind of trouble once he was paroled, but they had assumed he would be the suspect, not the victim. They weren't prepared for this—and that included emotionally. Michael having to get justice for one of the two people he'd admit to hating was a hard pill to swallow.

Despite that, Luke doesn't suggest Michael turn the case over to someone else. From a practical standpoint Michael is the best person to get the job done because of his previous experiences. That may sound heartless, but the U.S. Attorney knows that someone else botching this would be a disaster both for them and for the FBI. And Michael Davis is nothing if not a consummate professional. Plus, even if he said it, Michael will want to do this himself because he's the one who was insistent that something would go wrong. He's the responsible one and he'll do his job to the letter of the law. That's why it's Luke's job to help him with all the shit he won't want to deal with. Even if he ignores his own emotional health most of the time.

"Say what you want to say," he encourages Michael, now that no one can hear them.

"This is fucking unbelievable," Michael replies. "I had almost started to believe he wasn't going to be involved in some shit—and somebody murders him? It's backwards of what I expected."

"I know, but maybe that's a clue in itself. Focus in on what happened and not what was supposed to happen." Luke sighs, not sure how to say the next part. "For what it's worth, I'm here for you on this. Like I told you, I've got your back."

The words prompt an uncomfortable look between them. Luke knows he's not the person Michael would want to confide in nor is he prepared for it. While they're friends the strain on their relationship over the last few years meant they didn't talk about personal issues unless they were directly related to a case. Luke is more than likely going to say the wrong thing at some point and piss Michael off. But since the Wexler case he's been trying, and Michael respects the effort. He also knows he shouldn't go this alone. "I appreciate it," he finally says. "I have to get my head right and then get to work before this hits the news."

"I'll handle this," Luke assures him. "You need to call Janet."

Michael exhales tightly. "I don't know."

The response genuinely throws Luke for a moment, because he's never expected a time when Michael wouldn't tell Janet everything. But once that passes he understands the other man's hesitation. Janet being Janet, she's going to worry and want to get on the next plane back to Washington. While probably blaming herself for leaving in the first place. "She's going to find out one way or another," he points out, knowing that this will be plastered all over the news as soon as Wallace is identified. "It's better she hears it from you."

"And she'll spend the rest of her vacation worrying about me. After I talk her out of coming back to help. I don't want to take that away from her."

"You haven't held anything back from her," Luke retorts. "Don't start now." It's said with a degree of self-loathing, because he knows he kept his mouth shut about a lot of things around Janet and that's the biggest factor in their breakup. But she and Michael have complete transparency and everyone knows how important that is to her. He's the only person who's never hurt her. Him withholding the truth, especially about something this serious, would do far more damage to their friendship than her anxiously wanting to protect him. Luke walks off to give Michael some privacy, and the other man sighs and reaches back into his jacket for his phone.

While Michael makes the call, Luke goes back to the crime scene and starts trying to gather his thoughts. He's not going to stand around and just be emotional ballast for his friend. He needs to get involved, and that means figuring out what he can do that the FBI can't. Luke scrolls through his phone and finds the number he'd previously gotten for Wallace's parole officer. "We need to talk," he says, "because somebody just stabbed your client seventeen times."

Current Mood: rushed

every game you play;
Luke goes down to the basement, pulls the box related to the Mark Wallace case, and hauls it into his office. He doesn't want any of the other U.S. Attorneys to know he's looking at it, but he does want to know what he's dealing with. The case was before his time, prosecuted by his then-boss Tanner Benton, who had used a far more experienced attorney as his second chair. They had wanted to throw their absolute best at Wallace, which is exactly what Luke would have done in the same situation. But it meant that all he knew was things he had heard secondhand over the weeks of trial.

He's halfway through the initial witness list when a too-familiar voice interrupts. "Is it a really slow night?" Bryan Alexander comments, and Luke tenses. He feels like he's just been caught with something, which maybe he has. He glances up at his boss while putting down the paperwork. "No," he says. "I'm doing a little opposition research."

"On Mark Wallace?" Bryan retorts, pointing toward the box to remind Luke that he can read the label on the side. Luke exhales sharply. "I just want to know who I'm dealing with," he explains. "In case I end up dealing with him."

He's watching his boss closely for a reaction. Though Bryan Alexander is known more now as a politician, he was a talented prosecutor and didn't become U.S. Attorney just because he's well-connected. He had told Luke about Wallace's parole for a reason, being aware that the ex-Congressman had been locked up for financial crimes and wanting his bureau chief to have the same awareness. Since he dropped the dime he really can't get angry at Luke for picking it up. "Have you found something?" he asks.

Luke shakes his head. "But I don't want to get fucking blindsided."

This was something he'd do for any agent he'd worked with if a case came up again. He'd want to look things over to give them ample warning out of respect. But it being Michael made the situation that much worse, and also knowing how much the case meant to Michael both personally and professionally. Luke considered Michael a friend even if that friendship had been strained. Especially with Janet being out of town with Holden, he felt a compulsion to protect Michael in her absence. He was the best FBI agent anyone could name by a mile and he didn't deserve to be dragged through the wringer again.

"You going to tell me to knock this off?" he prompts Bryan, since the other man hasn't answered. "Or is there something I need to know?"

"I wanted you to be aware in case he came up on our radar, not for you to start an investigation," Bryan points out. His tone is the implied warning that Luke has already overstepped his bounds. "But be careful. Tanner ran everything by the book. You're a lot more emotional and aggressive than he is. If this does lead to anything, don't turn this into a fucking street fight."

"He has to start a fight with me first." Luke replies. He understands the point; he's definitely not his predecessor (something that he and Tanner had actually started an argument over). But in his eyes, if Wallace wants to make things ugly, then he has no problem fighting fire with fire. He never has. It's why he was smart enough to cut Janet loose before the Whitehouse trial. He would have burned the world down if anyone had come after her. Obviously that was an extreme circumstance, but he's still willing to get his hands dirty if someone wants to go after Michael. Particularly an already convicted public official who should never have been paroled in the first place. He has three different reasons to be pissed off about this.

Bryan knows two of the three, which is why he hasn't just pulled rank on Luke and shut him down. It's good business for the head of financial crimes to know that a high-profile white collar criminal is back on the street, and on a personal level he can understand Luke's opposition. Luke's passion for the work is why Bryan promoted him and why he wants him to become U.S. Attorney someday. Yet he also has the political savvy to understand this will be an even worse scandal if it goes to trial again, with how relentless Luke will be compared to the usually stoic Benton. "Put that back when you're done," he says. "Don't tell anyone you're looking into this. And don't do anything without talking to me first." The latter is not a request.

Luke nods and breathes a heavy sigh as his boss walks out of his office. They're all still hoping this is nothing, but his inherent cynicism tells him something is about to happen.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: every breath you take | the police

turn the sound up;
"Guess who's getting out of prison today."

Michael Davis glances up from the stack of paperwork he's sorting to Luke having just walked into the financial crimes bullpen. "I don't appreciate your lack of sarcasm," he replies. "Especially on a Monday." But he knows that Luke is showing them respect by passing on the news in person—and possibly trying to brace them for bad news before Michael's even had time to take his jacket off.

"Trust me, I wish I was being sarcastic." But Luke had gotten the news from Bryan Alexander in their Monday department heads meeting, his boss having been tipped off by one of his many political contacts. And after Luke had needlessly argued the point with Bryan afterward, he'd come straight to the Hoover Building to give Michael the heads-up. He understood what this news would mean to Michael. "Mark Wallace is getting out on good behavior."

"What? That's a fucking joke," Michael replies. "He wouldn't know good behavior if it bit him on the ass." But even as Luke chuckles, he knows the U.S. Attorney is being serious. "How did this happen?" he asks, giving up on the paperwork to sit on the desk instead. "I went to his parole hearing last year."

"The DOC reversed their decision. He's a nonviolent offender who's already served nine years." Luke exhales. "I know this doesn't make it any better, but I'd do something about it if I could." Not necessarily because he can argue with the parole board's logic but because he knows it's important to Michael.

Michael nods. He grasps the reasoning just as much, but based on his interactions with Wallace, he doesn't think there's a redemptive bone in the ex-Congressman's body. He can't help but think about him threatening Janet at the Oval Room and wondering if the man harbors a grudge and might attempt to get his own back against him or his partner. "I appreciate that. And thank you for telling me," he says. "Do we have any way of keeping up with whatever he does next?"

"He's gonna have a parole officer. I'll find out who as soon as they're assigned and get their number." Luke assures him. All that takes is a few phone calls. "Do you actually think he's going to try something or you just want to know?"

"I torpedoed his political career, ruined his marriage and put him in prison, so I'd like to be safe. But I think most of his high-powered friends have moved on by now. Or they won't want to risk having their own hopes tainted by association. More I'm just annoyed that he's shown zero remorse and he gets out."

"Your rare moment of cynicism," Luke points out with a small smile. Michael and Janet both are idealistic; it's what keeps them going. He's much more of a realist who understands that sometimes decisions are made out of bureaucracy. That doesn't mean they don't piss him off, which is why he doesn't want to be U.S. Attorney. He doesn't want to deal with this shit. "I'll keep my ear to the ground and let you know if I hear anything. And if you hear anything, call me. I've got your back on this."

"I've never doubted you do." Even when they were furious with each other, Michael knew that Luke could always be trusted. But hopefully this conversation won't mean anything. He lets Luke get back to work and turns to do the same, telling himself that Mark Wallace isn't his problem anymore. Yet they all have nemeses and his is about to be free.

Current Mood: blah

one you left behind;
"Honey, I'm home," Luke Cameron quips to his wife as he walks in the door.

"Are you going to do that every day?" Janet calls, not even turning around from where she's doing the dishes. That means he can't see the bemused smirk on her face. Luke shakes his head. "Yes, because it's still funny," he admits, setting his bag down and sliding his jacket off before he moves through their house into the kitchen. "I'm sorry I'm late," he adds, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. "This case is taking too long."

"We all know how that goes." She's had plenty of her own investigations that have dragged on. "You want to just order takeout?"

"Yeah," he agrees, helping her put the last few plates away. "Where's Maddie?"

"She's out back if you want to bring her in," she says. Luke kisses her again, on the lips this time, before he goes through the back door and calls for Madeline. Their five-year-old daughter eagerly runs over and wraps her arms around him, even though she's not quite tall enough for a hug. Luke picks her up and hugs her back. He never saw himself being a father or even necessarily a husband but he's doing his best to succeed at both. Even if he's still not sure it's enough.

To say their marriage has been strained is an understatement. Luke had bought a ring as soon as Janet had told him about her pregnancy. He proposed three times before she said yes. They'd spent two years living together and raising their daughter while trying to get their relationship to a point where they felt like they could make that commitment. Yet both of them have struggled trying to put their careers aside to devote time to their family, and they screw it up more often than not. Even now, he wonders if Janet thinks she made a mistake. She'd say the same thing about him. But they're too scared to ask. He looks back inside to see Janet walking away and holds Madeline closer.

Luke glances at Janet as they sit at a table at Bistrot Du Coin, waiting for his parents to arrive. He wants to tell her that she didn't have to come, that he could've made some excuse for why she wasn't able to make dinner, but he knows she'd wave it off. He could mention how much he appreciates her being willing to join him and make the evening actually interesting but he thinks she can guess that and so he doesn't say that either. He settles on, "You look great in that dress."

"Thank you." She had picked out something simple and classy for the evening. "You're sure you told them we broke up?" she adds, because it's worth confirming.

"Yeah, like two years ago. Unless my parents are delusional..." he trails off. He definitely said it but he wonders if his parents are in denial given how badly they'd wanted him to settle down. Or maybe they just really like Janet and wanted to see her again since this will be their first meeting in four years. It could be both. This could be completely innocuous, but he definitely doesn't want to make it weird knowing what happened last week. They'd already played fake couple on the Carmichael case and then Janet had told him about being unexpectedly introduced to her mother's boyfriend. "I promise we won't be here all night," he adds as he has no intention of staying that long.

"I go when you go," Janet comments. Holden knows where she is and had been surprisingly sympathetic knowing how awkward conversations with parents could be, and even if he wasn't, she wouldn't bail on any of her friends. While they'd never formally done the meet the parents scenario, she'd run into them a few times when Luke had them in town and they were perfectly normal people. Even if her definition of normal was heavily skewed.

Daniel and Michelle Cameron were blue-collar people who had met in high school, run into each other again in college and been married for decades. Which made their son slightly baffling to them as he insisted on being part of the white-collar world and had yet to marry. His choice of restaurant was proof of that. But he was happy, and that was the most important part. "How are you two doing?" she asks as soon as they arrive. "Every time I talk to Luke, it's always about work."

Over his chuckle (because he doesn't have anything else other than work), Janet says, "I'm doing fine. My caseload's been pretty busy, too. I just got back from three weeks in Miami." Which is all she wants to say about that.

Luke glances at her because there's part of him that wants to know everything that happened. Janet told him some things when she came home, but he knows she's holding a lot in and he can't help but wonder what it is. But it's her choice and he can't push her. "That's what I mean," he agrees. "I've been trying to get cases wrapped up before the end of the year. It's always busy with people wanting things done or trying to take advantage of the holiday spirit."

"Do you even have plans for Christmas?"

"...I don't, actually."

"You should come home. Everyone would love to see you."

"Mom." Luke knows he got caught out on that question and should have been prepared for it, to say nothing of Janet probably worrying about him now. "I'll be fine. I just haven't figured things out yet." But his lawyer instincts tell him that opens the door for her to needle him about his personal life, and Janet understands why he wanted backup for this conversation. He loves his parents but he can never make them understand that he's not what they want him to be.

After putting Madeline to bed, the routine is always the same. Going over their respective schedules to decide who's responsible for taking her to school in the morning and bringing her home in the afternoon. Who has time to run errands or get dinner started while the other one is still in the office. Luke's making the school rum tomorrow because Janet's meeting Holden for a late lunch and maybe it's knowing his wife is making time for someone he's never liked that prompts him to finally say what they've both been thinking.

"This really isn't working, is it?" he says as he unbuttons his shirt and tosses it into the hamper. Janet glances up at him perplexed and he shakes his head. "Don't be surprised. This isn't what either of us wanted."

"You're tired and you're overthinking," she tells him. Janet knows he has a tendency to tear himself down when it comes to their relationship and thinks this is just one more time where she needs to remind him that their past mistakes are actually in the past. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You just had a long day, that's all."

"No, that's not everything." Luke sighs, coming to sit beside her. "I know we've worked incredibly hard to build a home, but our relationship is more than just weekends and trading shifts during the week. I love you and I don't feel like you know that. I don't think this is what we pictured on our wedding day."

Janet wants to argue with him but his choice of words makes her think about it. They had hoped that getting married would make everything work. They had a child together whom they didn't want to raise between two households and they cared deeply for each other, so marriage felt like the best step for everyone involved. But she knows that the intensity has gone out of their relationship because of all their obligations. She wants a relationship that feels like that again. "Not exactly," she admits. "But we've made it work."

"That's what I'm saying." Luke swallows. "I will always love you," he says because he doesn't want her to think he doesn't care about her. "But I can't pull away from my job and you can't either. Add in raising a child... I don't know what's left for us." He reaches down to take her hand. He knows he's hurting her, the way he'd promised he never would again. In not wanting to sacrifice their careers while still being parents, the thing they'd had to give up was each other. And while he'd stay in a functional marriage for the rest of his life for Madeline, he wants Janet to have more than that.

"I know you're happy with me," he says. "But would you be happier with someone else?"

Luke's parents don't ask outright why he and Janet aren't back together, but they drop three separate hints about it, and Luke is able to deflect all of them. He expected that with her at the table. Janet's surprised how easily he brushes the subject off; the Luke of last year wouldn't be so certain. But their long goodbye seems to have stuck. She talks about the award he got for the Wexler case—sidestepping the bullet he also got—and about her acting class having its next showcase in a month, and they begrudgingly accept that Luke and Janet are doing enough to be happy.

He walks his parents to their car before coming back for Janet, who guessed he'd want a moment after that. "That was an entertaining interrogation," Luke comments wryly. "She's going to nag me endlessly about going to Iowa unless I come up with something."

"You shouldn't spend it alone, though," she says. She and Michael are going to Milwaukee, and she doesn't think someone else should crash Holden's family gathering but the idea of Luke being left on his own still bothers her. It's what she worried about.

"I'll be fine. Worst-case scenario, I'll drag them back out to Washington. Don't worry about me," Luke replies and he means it. "My parents are great, it's just my world and their world don't really coexist. But it was good to see you again in some way that doesn't have anything to do with work. Are you sure you're okay?" he adds pointedly.

"I'm working on it. The case dragged up a lot of emotions for me that I still have to process." Janet feels strange saying that almost three months later but shooting someone and telling someone else you love them are things that don't fade away quickly. As is the idea that all this talk about family has reminded her of. "Can I ask you something?" she says and Luke doesn't hesitate. "Name it."

"Do you know where my father is?" she asks. That's the last question he expected and Luke shoves his hands in his pockets and drops his gaze to the sidewalk, debating if he should say anything. But he doesn't want to blow off Janet on something so personal. "Yeah, I do," he admits with a sigh as he glances into the street. "He came to our team and asked to be relocated." That's already more than he wanted to give up so Luke chooses not to tell her where. The only reason he knows is that he wants to be sure Jack stays there and doesn't harm Janet ever again. Even with the restraining order, Luke still doesn't feel entirely safe where Jack is concerned.

He finally looks at her, wondering if there's a specific reason why she's asking. But Janet just nods almost more to herself. "Okay," she says. "I just... wanted to know. Just in case."

Luke nods in understanding, reaching out to squeeze Janet's shoulder in an attempt at comfort. As much as his parents will never understand him, he's never had to deal with the problems she's had to deal with. "Thank you for coming out with me," he says, that distinction making him want to say it instead of assuming she knows how he feels. "It was a good night."

Janet's answer to that is to pull him into another hug and Luke doesn't hesitate in returning it. As much as this conversation and the one before it have proven to him that he and Janet were never meant to last, he will always love her as his best and one of his oldest friends. Nothing will ever take that away from them. "Tell me about your acting class. Anything other than our parents," he asks, slipping his arm around her waist as he walks her to her car. "I don't want to think about the future. I want to think about right now."

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: we're running out of time | leann rimes

through the fire;
They both considered this to be a stupid idea. Janet hated faking her enthusiasm with people she knew would only look down their noses at her if they knew what she really did and Luke didn't like being on the other side of the line. Still he'd agreed to be her date for this particular case, because Michael was going to be preoccupied actually breaking into the wine cellar and Holden sure as fuck wasn't going to do it. He scoped out the room as he walked through with Janet on his arm, his fingers laced with hers. "I'm so glad this was never us," he muttered to her.

"It would never have been us," she muttered back. "I don't go to these kinds of events and you don't drink wine." He was practically underqualified for the role, not knowing anything about counterfeit wine or undercover work in general, but Luke looked the part having pulled one of his best Armani suits out of the closet. His whole job was to be a distraction and he was distracting in the perfect combination of black suit and tie with the gunmetal shirt. It reminded Janet why he was ogled by women in the office and why she'd fallen for him in he first place. Plus the fact that he was willing to make himself uncomfortable for her counted for a lot in her book. "If you're thinking about the bullet in my arm," he whispered in her ear guessing her train of thought, "Don't."

Luke had forgotten about the Wexler case as soon as the wound had healed. Like he'd told Janet, getting shot had been a freak accident caused by a situation he'd chosen to be in, so he didn't care about it. He didn't think any of the snobbish people in this McMansion were going to be pulling a gun. Luke followed Janet to a table and stretched out in the chair while he continued to survey the room. They were both listening to Michael make his way into the building through a back service door. "I have to admit," Luke quipped, "it's pretty cool that he can pick locks."

Janet laughed. "Michael has a lot of practical talents," she replied. It was another reason why they made a good team; he had certain hands-on skills that she hadn't learned while she had been studying the finer points and legal details of financial crimes. Her partner would easily be able to make it through the open door downstairs, get into the cellar and thoroughly examine all of the bottles. They just had to buy him enough time and keep an eye on the potential suspects. "He's the total package." The implication being that they weren't—something that Luke didn't argue.

He still didn't have a solution to Bryan wanting him to become the next U.S. Attorney, but he didn't have the political capital for that. This whole situation was another example of that because people were definitely talking about them and he just had to sit there and take it. He squeezed Janet's hand to distract himself. "How're you holding up?" he asked. It had been seven weeks since Madrigal and they hadn't seriously talked since she came to visit him at his apartment. "I'm good," she told him. "Brad got Special Agent of the Year two weeks ago. I still don't like that I shot Petrov, but from what Barton told me at the gala, he'll be behind bars one way or another."

"As long as you know you didn't do anything wrong."

Janet nodded and was going to say something back but stopped when Michael's voice broke into their ears. "I'm in," he said. "Give me twenty minutes."

"Meet you in the parking lot in thirty." She let go of Luke's hand to set a timer on her watch before turning back to him. "Does this qualify as dragging you to another stupid party?" she joked and he laughed at her remembering that he'd sworn off going to any more functions with his boss. "No, because I don't actually have to do anything," he pointed out. "Though when this lands on my desk, Michael's going to have to give me a primer on counterfeit wine."

Such things weren't uncommon; Luke always asked for information on subjects that he didn't know about, and in particular Michael was familiar with several topics that he wasn't well-versed in. Which was another reason he didn't mind helping out. They may not be best friends, but Luke respected Michael so he was happy to provide an assist as much as he hadn't expected it to be this. He exhaled and looked for another topic of conversation. "So how was the gala?" he finally settled on.

"It was fine. We just mingled with all the Miami people and listened to a bunch of speeches. The important thing was being there for Brad in his big moment." Janet paused. "You were right. There are people who are going to get ahead, and there are people like you and me whose job is to fight." She didn't see herself making unit chief and knew Holden didn't either. Some agents like Michael and Brad were destined for those management roles, while they were made to keep working on the ground.

Luke shrugged. "It's just who we are," he said. "I'm not against settling down and having a life... But I understand it's against my nature." The thought of what he and Janet could have been had crossed his mind more than once. They could be married and raising a five-year-old daughter right now. But it was to his credit that when the idea popped into his head he understood how wrong it was. Their relationship would never sustain a marriage and as much as he loved Janet and Madeline, he didn't see himself being able to completely focus on a family. "I'd do it all again," he added, suddenly motivated to affirm that their failed relationship wasn't some kind of mistake.

Janet eyed him for a second. She'd speculated on what her life would've been like if she and Luke had stayed broken up—particularly with Brad Leonpacher, because they'd had that one-night stand not long afterward. Dating Brad would've been a lot simpler and easier on her and on Luke, since they'd both hurt each other. But she didn't regret trying a romantic relationship with him; he was still someone she cared about and at the time exactly what she thought she was looking for. "I'm glad we tried," she agreed. "You're worth trying for, even if we completely fucked it up."

"The more I think about it, I think we were always going to fuck it up." It was the first time he'd said that out loud. But Luke relied on evidence and what he knew from therapy and from what Janet had told him was that they weren't the people they wanted to be. There had been a genuine disconnect between how they saw themselves and who they actually were. Before she could comment on that—because he knew she would—he abruptly changed the subject. "My parents are coming to town in a few weeks," he said. "Would you mind saying hi to them? My mom was asking about you."

That was almost more news to Janet than Luke's admission about their relationship. "Really?" she blurted. "I mean, sure, of course I'll come by. But why was she asking about me?" Their breakup was the better part of two years ago now and she knew Luke had told his family.

"I have no idea," he admitted with a laugh. "Maybe she missed you. You're worth missing," he added, as if to pay her back the compliment she'd just paid him. For all the grief they'd given each other he'd do anything for Janet and he knew she would always be there for him. Whether it was serious situations like when she'd called him in Miami or ridiculous ones like this they'd always have each other's back. Luke would just refrain from asking if she wanted to get a drink afterward. He sat with his hand in hers, making aimless small talk while she kept watching the crowd to see if anyone was worth pulling aside. This fishing expedition would give them a better idea of who to look for.

Janet's watch was their cue to step outside. Luke reached into his pocket and easily faked a phone call, letting Janet follow behind him as if there was some sort of an emergency. They stepped out into the courtyard to find Michael, fixing his tie so it didn't look like he'd just spent a half hour examining bottles in a cellar. "Did you find anything?" Janet asked her partner without breaking stride.

"There are a couple that look suspect, but not the ones we've been looking for," he said. "We'll keep an eye on these just in case; I have all the details." He dared a grin in Luke's direction while they walked back toward the parked cars. "How was your afternoon out with the wife?"

"It wasn't that bad," Luke quipped back. "I think I might need to go play a round of golf." But he couldn't get the sentence out without his usual sarcasm. "I had no idea you were a pro at breaking and entering," he added, genuinely impressed with Michael's skills.

"Okay, the back door was already open," Michael pointed out. "And I told them it'd look better if I didn't have a key." But he was happy to accept the praise. He missed Janet glancing between the two of them, surprised that for the first time she could remember, they were joking with one another. It warmed her heart to see that they were getting along, even if only for a few minutes. She gave Luke a playful nudge to silently comment on that fact, and he snickered. "I don't know what you want a compliment for," he teased. "You just sat there and looked gorgeous."

"That is a compliment." Janet snorted, but as they reached Luke's car she stopped and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "Thanks for doing this with us," she said honestly.

"It's no big deal. It was an hour out of my day." He played it off, but they both knew even this small venture was something he wouldn't have done if anyone other than Janet and Michael had been asking. He was getting better at showing them he cared about them. Luke gave Janet a kiss of his own before she climbed into Michael's car and he headed back to his own office. "It's still a stupid idea," he said to himself, but he was laughing.

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: through the fire | chaka khan

you'll do what you will do;
"Hey," Luke says, unable to resist greeting Janet with a hug when she turns up on his doorstep. He hasn't seen her in three weeks when he's letting her into his apartment. "How did the case go?"

"We arrested three members of the top drug cartel in Miami and they're gunning for a few more. And the only agent who got hurt was Brad, but the bullets hit his vest, so he'll be bruised for a while but he's otherwise okay." Janet chuckles but there's no humor in it. The memory of Leonpacher standing his ground against those shots will stick with her the next time she sees him. That he was that brave and that she came that close to losing him.

"And? How are you?" Luke prompts, knowing who she omitted. When she hesitates, his face softens and he knows she's not just there to catch up. "What's going on?" he asks.

"I almost killed someone."

Luke stares at Janet for a second before he ushers her toward his couch. Somehow he's never considered that; she's always been the one getting hurt, not the one who hurts somebody. He doesn't say anything until they're sitting down and she's leaning against him, his arm on the back of the couch and her head resting against his shoulder. It's probably too close for his ex-girlfriend but he doesn't care. "What do you want to tell me?" he asks because he wants her to know she doesn't owe him any explanation. Luke of all people believes the ends justify the means.

"The suspect was going to shoot Brad—actually, he did—so I shot him. I could have killed him, I wanted to kill him, but I knew we needed him alive so at the last second I dropped my aim and hit him in the leg." Janet swallows. "I've never hurt someone before."

"It sounds like he deserved it."

She nods to herself, knowing many people have already told her exactly that, including the fact that other people would have taken the kill shot while she consciously chose to spare Thomas Petrov's life. Michael had suggested that it wasn't just because they needed his information; that Janet was too good-hearted to kill someone, even when that person had been actively threatening someone she loved. "Do you think I've lost my edge?" she asks Luke. "Michael called me out while we were there. Said that just because I understand I don't have to physically fight doesn't mean I never should. That in trying to protect myself, I've gotten passive."

Luke wraps his arm around her as he thinks about their last few conversations. How Janet had been checking in with him and Michael and Holden to get their opinions rather than just acting. "I think he's right. But also, who gives a fuck what I think?" he retorts. "You walk the path that's right for you. We all knew you changing your habits was going to take some adjusting. You overcorrected, that's all. Now you do better."

Janet exhales. "It felt good," she admits. "Not the shooting but... That moment when I said I wasn't going to be afraid anymore. When I knew it was my time to take a stand. I felt alive."

"That's because you were," he tells her gently. "It's the same feeling I get when I have a defendant nailed on cross. You live to make a difference. Changing other people's lives validates yours." He snaps his fingers to signify it—that impulse that separates them from the rest, even from their own friends. They both need to actively be doing something to solve a problem. Sitting behind a desk or on the phone doesn't give them the same satisfaction. That's why he'd constantly been pushing Janet since she was shot the second time. He knew she wouldn't be happy unless she was fighting for something. "You did what you needed to do," he adds. "You're just uncomfortable with it because you think you should be."

The Janet Ford of five years ago wouldn't have regretted pulling the trigger. She hadn't hesitated getting out of the car at First National to physically defend innocent people. It was just part of the job to her. But that was when Janet only saw herself at work, and now when she had this idea of wanting to be a perfect wife and mother instead of a perfect FBI agent, she was trying to live up to that instead. It was easy for Luke to see why she'd ended up on his doorstep. She knew he'd understand those old instincts wanting to come out again because he had the same ones.

"How's Brad? Other than the bruises," he corrects himself, going back to their original conversation. "Is he good?"

"I think so. He needs some time to recharge; he said something about taking a vacation. But he was in good spirits when I left him. I'm just going to wait for him to call me." Janet trusts that Brad will reach out when he's ready to talk. She's also certainly not going to tell Luke about what they said on the beach because Luke is only going to be jealous over her saying she loves someone else. It's taken him long enough to stop being petty with Holden. Things with Luke will never not be complicated, but the side effect of that is that she can be angry and hurt and maybe a little self-satisfied and he doesn't give a fuck.

"Then you accomplished what you went out there for. You took care of him and you didn't start trying to bring down an entire drug cartel. You had to get your hands dirty, but you stuck to the plan." Which is the real accomplishment since previous Janet would also have been trying to protect everyone by arresting as many bad guys as possible. He glances down at her. "What'd Holden say?"

"He's glad I'm okay. I think he's tired of me being in situations where guns are involved, but he knows I was saving my friend. The same way that he saved me." She swallows roughly and Luke tenses just thinking about the Dexter Vincent case. He would have liked to shoot the man himself and he's still pissed that it came to that. Not to mention scared that he could have lost his best friend while he was on the other side of the building watching a media scrum. He has to take a moment to let those emotions pass before he speaks again. "If he's not upset with you," he says, "then why are you?"

"Because I've never gone that far. Because I liked that feeling."

"You made a life-saving decision. And you don't have to apologize for how you feel." Luke's tone gets more emphatic now because he and Janet have had far too many conversations since their last breakup about their feelings and how they hadn't been emotionally truthful with each other. "Your fight is what makes you who you are. It doesn't always mean bleeding for it, but you need to fucking trust yourself and not rely on me or Holden or Michael or anyone else to tell you that you're right. You know you're right. Michael called you out because he wants you to understand that you're the best judge of what's too far or not. If you didn't know what to do, you probably would've killed that guy."

It would've been the easier decision. It was certainly her first instinct. But Janet's choice to fire a non-fatal shot was about more than that moment. More than just stopping the bad guy or her wanting to save Brad and maybe hurt someone who'd killed several people. She'd picked the best answer and not just the one she'd wanted. Had he been in that position, he wouldn't have had that kind of foresight. Michael was right to say what he had, and Luke is willing to bet Holden has told Janet not to worry about him, too.

"You're a hero, Janet," he tells her. "I know you don't want to hear it, but you are."

She would be one several times over in his book. Her actions had directly saved multiple lives in the last five years and she had just added one more to her resume. Janet never took the credit, though, which was one of the things she and Luke saw differently. He watches her take a deep breath and process his words and the way he's said them. That sharpness to his voice he hasn't used on her since he told her he was getting the restraining order against her father. This isn't a discussion anymore. "Thank you, Luke," she says quietly. "I knew I could count on you to give me my edge back."

"I don't think you ever lost it." He smiles slightly. "I think it was just hiding." That makes her laugh and he adds, "I just ordered Chinese before you showed up. You want to stay for dinner?"

"Sure, I'd like that." Janet nods and straightens. Holden won't be home for another hour and unlike awhile ago she knows he won't mind if she tells him she was out with Luke before he gets there. "You can tell me everything I missed in the last few weeks," she says, which makes him laugh out loud. "You do not want to know," he says. But he'll tell her anyway, because that's what they do, is talk about their victories and their defeats. They've been friends for over a decade because they can have conversations. It's only the ones not about work that they're terrible with.

Luke doesn't acknowledge it when Janet kisses him on the cheek before he gets up to get the food. All that's important to him is that she felt she could come to him not once but twice when things got hard for her, and that she's going to be okay. He's glad to see the Janet he knows back in action.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: we all need saving - jon mclaughlin

through the hourglass, i saw you;
Luke steps out of the bar as soon as he sees the text from Janet: Can we talk?

She's been gone for a few days in Miami, and he hadn't known the details; he'd assumed that she was just off on another trip to see her new friend Brad. But clearly that's not the case if she's reaching out to him when most people are heading home for the night. He doesn't hesitate in walking to his car and calling her back right away, loosening his tie a little more as he waits for her to pick up. "What's going on?" he asks when she does. "Are you okay?"

"No. I mean, I don't know," she stumbles.

"Talk to me."

"This case is... It's getting out of control." Janet sighs, leaning up against the hotel balcony and looking out at the lights of Miami. At least Michael hadn't woken up when she slipped out of their room. "It was just supposed to be some paperwork. I mean, it was. We're looking into a rehab facility that it turns out has cartel connections. They're funneling money and drugs into the cartel by ordering treatments and medications the patients don't need, then billing the families for whatever the insurance doesn't cover. Essentially using these people as human revenue streams."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Luke says in total disbelief.

"I wish I was," Janet replies. It's one of the more morally bankrupt things she's seen in a while. "Brad is going after the cartel. He wants everybody involved," she adds. That doesn't surprise Luke. No one in their line of work would want any criminal left on the streets if they could help it. "I know he can do it, I'm just worried that... That we won't recognize ourselves by the end of it. He's already tried to tell me to get the hell out."

"And you refused to go." He knows why she's calling him. He knows what it's like to be relentlessly single-minded. He slays giants, as the ring on his right hand reminds him. Luke twists it on his finger while he thinks. There's no way that Brad can take down an entire drug cartel; the question is how far will he go before he decides to stop. At least he'd had the presence of mind to warn Janet. Luke had almost never done that, leaving her to deal with his moods, his crusades and the fallout. "How well do you know this guy?" he asks, since he's only met the other man once and even then they hadn't interacted that often. "Are you worried about him, or are you worried about you?"

"Both." She admits. "Wexler wasn't the first case I've worked with him. He's brilliant, but I don't want him turning into me. Doing something risky that gets him hurt. And I... I promised Holden I wouldn't do this," she continues, her voice breaking slightly. "I told him I was done putting myself in bad situations. But I can't leave a friend of mine in this kind of trouble."

"I know. I don't think Holden would expect you to," Luke reassures her. As little as he understands about Holden Ford, he seems like a pretty loyal guy, and Luke doubts Holden would be mad at her for wanting to make sure her friend was safe, even if it came with some risk to Janet. He takes a deep breath because the real fear is that something happens to her. Janet had gotten a lot of her confidence back working with the BSU and then on the Wexler case, but she was still struggling with facing her own mortality. Being focused on her work had at least come with a certain self-righteousness that had gone away once she'd let down her guard. "I can't make it any less frightening, but Janet, you can do this," he tells her. "You've taken on some pretty big cases, and you've won. You just helped bust a human trafficking ring less than a year ago. And if it gets over your head, you know when to get out. I'm pretty sure Brad knows, too, or he wouldn't have warned you. You have help there. Use it."

She nods. That's why they're having this conversation. Janet and Luke had always been able to reach out to each other when their confidence wavered. Usually their pep talks took place in the atrium of the courthouse but one of them could always text and ask for a kick in the ass. Luke didn't know her as well as Holden or Michael, but he knew being driven and what it took to satisfy that competitive voice in his head. It was that shared commitment that had originally brought them together. "Do you think less of me?" she asks after a moment. "Because I don't want to be in these kinds of situations anymore."

"No. Of course not, Janet, don't think that," he says with emphasis so she knows he means it. "Most people don't want to be in situations that threaten their well-being. The fact that you ran toward them for so many years is admirable. But you're the exception, not the rule. You've been through more shit than most agents will in their whole careers. The fact that you want a break is not a character flaw." A pause. "And the fact that I'm still doing this is... It's because this is what I'm supposed to do. You have another option. I haven't figured mine out yet."

Luke stares up at the ceiling of his BMW for a moment, thinking. He understands why Janet wouldn't want to leave (she'd never abandon a friend in any kind of need) and why Brad would tell her to go (he doesn't want her getting hurt again). But with all that they've been through, he also understands the situation for what it actually is, which is not just the case but the emotional stakes underneath. He's always been terrible with emotions and wants to make sure he gets the next words out right.

"This is about you pulling him back from the brink," he tells her. "He doesn't need another agent. He doesn't need your expertise. The reason you're involved is because he needs a friend, and I'm guessing you're the one he trusts most with his feelings. Letting you stay is admitting he needs help. Just stay focused on that and don't try to be some kind of superwoman, solving everyone's problems. I know that's gonna hurt," and that part might come out somewhat snarky because he knows Janet's self-sacrificing flaw, "but if you do that, you'll be okay."

"All right." Janet takes a deep breath. It's a constant struggle for her to protect herself instead of someone else but she hopes that the more she does it, the more she'll get better at it. Or maybe that's just what she tells herself to stop from second-guessing herself. "Thanks, Luke," she says. "I just... wanted to make sure that I do the right thing."

"You are." He smiles to himself, able to say that without hesitation. Janet is much more a people person than she gives herself credit for. Certainly better than he is. "Take care of yourself, Janet. And call me again if you need to." He says his goodbye and lets out a slow breath thinking about whatever she's about to get herself into. He's concerned about her, but he also knows she can handle it. He's more touched that she thought to call him when she needed to hear it.

Current Mood: worried

love and lie;
Five years from now, Luke is surprised to see Janet coming toward him at her wedding reception. He'd assumed she was walking past him to talk to Michael or Holden. But she's holding out her hand to him and smiling. "Come on," she says, so he takes her hand and his beer and walks with her to the other side of the roof.

"Is this where you tell me I shouldn't have come?" he says wryly, although he still hasn't let go of her hand. Janet scoffs. "Do you think I'd have invited you if I didn't want you to be here?" she points out. Luke can't argue that point so he responds with, "I almost didn't show up. I didn't want to ruin your wedding day and I wasn't sure Holden wouldn't punch me."

Janet chuckles humorlessly. Holden isn't the type of person to hit anyone. But that's why they're having this conversation. She hadn't been sure Luke was going to show up either; although their friendship is much stronger now, it was still having to watch his ex-girlfriend get married to someone else. The woman he had genuinely proposed to eleven years ago, even if he was drunk and it was Las Vegas. She wouldn't have blamed him if it was too much. But he'd made it to the Museum of Natural History anyway, even if she wonders if the black suit and tie were a subconscious choice. She wants him to know she hears his feelings. It feels important to acknowledge that chapter of their lives is officially closed, even if it's unofficially been that way for a while, and to make Luke feel supported after he went so clearly out of his comfort zone for her.

"I have you to thank for this," Janet tells him after a moment. Luke's eyes widen just slightly as he folds his arms on the railing. "Why on Earth would you say that?" he asks, because he can't see what he has to do with her and Holden's relationship except for that argument they had over him.

"Because you gave me the strength to be here." She says it factually while she looks out at the sun that's just starting to set over D.C. "When you broke up with me... the last time," she continues, "you gave me the courage to go after Holden. I was scared, and maybe a little upset at how you and I weren't able to make things work, but mostly scared. You had the foresight to get us out of that self-destructive pattern and do what was best for us. I never would have acted on my feelings if you hadn't explained to me that we needed to walk away. That it was okay to let go."

Luke nods, taking a deep breath as his mind automatically pulls him back to their break up. It had been eviscerating to know that the best thing they could do was not do anything, after all the fighting and clawing they'd done to hold their relationship together. But he had never once doubted his decision. If a defense attorney or the media hadn't ruined Janet's life, he might have done it lashing out at anyone who said anything about her. Luke may not be the most upstanding person, but he was viciously loyal. He had to break it off, because Janet would have stayed out of her own misguided loyalty. She cared so deeply about him and that affection still sometimes left him in awe.

"I guess I'm glad I could do that for you," he says. He can't be totally glad about it knowing everything it cost him. But he's happy that she's happy. "You deserve all this, Janet. All the stuff we talked about and never actually did," he adds with a chuckle.

"There's still time. You're younger than me," Janet reminds him. "How's everything after that big fight you had with Bryan?"

"Ah, I don't know if it was a fight so much as it was me yelling at my own boss." Luke replies. Anyone else would have been fired for that confrontation but not him. Not when he'd finally blown up on Bryan Alexander and reiterated in no uncertain terms that he didn't want to be the next U.S. Attorney and that Bryan had better find somebody else. Luke didn't want to be taken out of the courtroom. It was what he loved and the one place he knew unequivocally who he was. "Everything seems like it's fine. I don't know if it's sunk in for him yet, but I can't control him. All I can control is myself."

Janet smiles because she knows that's a big sentence for Luke to say. He's always wanted to be in control of every situation. "Everything's going to be fine," she assures him, putting an encouraging hand on his back. "Come on. We should get inside to the rest of the reception."

"You should get back to your husband," he teases as they turn away from the railing. "People aren't here to see me." But he's smiling when he says it. "You bought us a blender, didn't you?" she replies and he whistles innocently because of course she already picked up on the joke. The moment has passed, the page is offically turned, and now they can move into the rest of their lives together without thinking about what came before.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: learning to fly - tom petty

take you to the good times;
"Hey," Luke says brightly when he walks up to Janet outside the cafe where they've agreed to meet for lunch. "I heard you busted a counterfeiting ring in four hours this weekend." The sentence comes with an instinctual high-five. "Congratulations," he adds with a grin. "Is that a new record?"

"Thank you," Janet replies with a smile of her own. "And it was with a little help from Bryan. Who I assume is the one that told you."

"Actually, I heard about it from the bar." He chuckles. Many people hadn't gotten the memo that Luke and Janet were no longer an item—probably because they'd broken up so many times that nobody thought it had actually stuck—so he occasionally got updates on her whether he wanted them or not. The side effects of Washington, D.C. being a relatively small town, at least where gossip was concerned. "But I'm sure he'll say something just to annoy me. How was the case?" he asks as they settle at a table on the patio.

"It wasn't bad. Kept me busy over the weekend." She shrugs. "Kevin's got to deal with Chad Baumann, but you'll likely get a plea deal."

"Just the kind of cases I like. But Baumann? Ouch." Luke mock-winces, pausing as the waitress comes over to take their drink orders. "Give me a Coke and a glass of champagne for my friend here," he says, which makes Janet barely hold back a laugh.

These are the kinds of conversations they used to have all the time. Talking about her cases and what they were going to look like when they ended up on his desk, or his trials and dealings with various lawyers around the courthouse. It was their language, like professional athletes talking about the season. They still congratulated each other when they'd done a great job, and the fact that they're talking about this is a big sign that their relationship is getting back to what it used to be.

Luke watches Janet take a drink of her champagne and wonders if he should text Kevin to warn him about Baumann. The defense attorney had become their primary rival over the years, with the difference being that the more level-headed Kevin didn't usually take his bait. Chad wasn't a bad guy, and he was just doing his job, but he could definitely be a pain in his ass. Kevin had once suggested that was who Luke could've become if he'd gone into private practice, and Luke had been insulted by the comparison. So he chooses not to ask about Chad and focus on Janet, which is much more fun.

"How did you get this case again?" he asks, only slightly teasing. "Weren't you supposed to be doing paperwork?"

"Criminal investigations called us in," Janet protests for what hasn't been the first time. "And Holden was out of town, so I decided to stay on and help out."

"And created two cases out of one." He points out. "You have this incredible sense for when a crime is being committed."

"Maybe it comes from living with a criminal. And knowing there's a case is one thing, having enough to prosecute is another."

As much respect as Luke has for Janet's work ethic, she has an equal respect for his talent in the courtroom. They understand that they're two parts of the whole process—that had actually been their first real conversation—and so they complete each other in that sense. No other FBI agent had as close a connection with a U.S. Attorney as Janet did, and only part of that had been due to their romantic relationship; the other half was that she was conscientious about the legal aspects and involved herself with it when other agents were happy to hand off a case and let the lawyers sort it out. Janet never liked making work for other people, even if it was perfectly normal.

"What are you doing now?" he asks after they've ordered. "Going off for some well-deserved time with the boyfriend?"

"We stayed in and did nothing yesterday. He was exhausted after being in New Mexico. And I didn't really want to go out either." She omits how she'd had one too many drinks, figuring that's what Ritter will comment on later. "I might go to the Capitals game next weekend though, if you want to come."

"Hockey isn't Holden's thing?"

"I actually have no idea what his opinion on hockey is." Janet laughed. "But it's been a while, so I thought I might go."

"Yeah, sure. Call me if you end up going." Luke agrees. He hasn't been to a Capitals game with her in over two years, not since just after she was shot at First National. Neither of them are huge hockey fans; it was more about getting out and spending time with each other, and D.C. is also a pretty underrated sports town. Plus anything competitive was always a safe bet where the two of them were concerned. "Maybe we'll get lucky and you'll catch some counterfeit bills at the arena."

"I just see things everywhere." She chuckles. "It never really turns off." She's fairly sure Holden said the same thing to her at some point, possibly on their first date when they'd joked about him snooping around her apartment.

"It doesn't. You have no idea how many people ask me for legal advice when they find out I'm a lawyer." Luke shakes his head. But if they could turn it off, if they hadn't devoted years of their lives to their work, they wouldn't be at the top of their careers either. "I am really proud of you, Janet," he says. "You closed a case before some people would've realized it existed."

She smiles. "Now just make sure they get what's coming to them."

"Oh, don't you worry about that."

"I never do," Janet replies with a mock-toast. No matter what the status of their relationship, when it comes to Luke prosecuting one of her cases, she knows she's in safe hands.

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: nothing's gonna stop us now | starship

drown in good intentions;
Luke Cameron has only ever broken once. It happens five months after James Holland's murder trial. He's been going full speed for nine months and everyone can see it except him. It's in how Luke hasn't shaved in three days when he's usually immaculate. Once is forgetting, twice is a mistake, three times is willful ignorance. His hair isn't exactly gelled in place and he hasn't seemed to notice that either. But everyone else has and is just too intimidated by him to say anything, including his second chair Patrick Ryden and Janet Ford, who are talking to Luke in his office when he finally collapses.

"Fuck," Janet says, doing her best to catch him while Luke has managed to half hold himself up by the corner of his desk. Once she somewhat has him she glances up at Ryden. "Can you get Kevin in here?"

"Yeah," Pat agrees and disappears out the door to find Kevin Russell.

As soon as he's gone, Janet turns her attention back to Luke. "What is going on with you?" she asks pointedly. "I'm fine," he insists, starting to push himself up. "Bullshit," Janet replies. "You're not fine. You just nearly hit the floor."

"I'm fine," Luke snaps back, settling into his chair. "I'm just tired. It's been a long couple of days." There's the slightest hesitation before he corrects, "Couple of days. Months."

"Which is why you shouldn't be here." Kevin is standing in the doorway looking at both of them. Janet still on her knees looking up at Luke, whose entire body language changes when he realizes his best friend is in the room. His shoulders tighten and so does his tone. "Don't you fucking start with me," he says without glancing over.

"Maybe somebody should." Kevin slides his hands into his pockets, undeterred. He's never dealt with an attorney as fierce as Luke Cameron but he's worked with plenty of difficult ones and they don't bother him in the slightest. "You haven't taken a day off in nine months. And if you're pissed off now, think how much angrier you'll be when you start fucking up convictions."

"Nine months?" Janet echoes. "Luke..."

He's had too much to think about at work—and not enough to think about outside of it. His breakup with Janet was eleven months and two weeks ago, and he hasn't filled that void with anything. He's got no interest in doing so. Work is what he has and work is what he can control. He's taken every ounce of rage and anguish that he kept mostly under control so as not to fuck up the Holland trial and poured it into all the cases he's had since. He hasn't lost one but he's burning himself out and looking at his best friend and the woman he still loves, Luke doesn't see a reason to tell them anything but the truth.

"Close the door," he says and Kevin does. When he's alone with the two people he trusts most, he lets his shoulders fall. Maybe it's finally being called out when no one calls him out. Maybe it's being aware that he almost hit his head on the corner of his desk. Maybe it's knowing that they're not going to let him out of his office unless he's completely honest. Whatever the reason, he can say things to them he'll never admit to. "I've been working a long time," he says. "But it's what I know how to do. I don't want... I don't want to stop. If I stop, I won't know what to do with myself."

The vulnerability in that sentence hangs in the air. Janet feels a lump in her throat that keeps her from getting any words out. She's been so caught up in her own pain and anger—her PTSD, her panic that Holland will somehow get out of prison and finish the job, her frustration at Luke not being there when she needed him most—that she hasn't thought about how this affected him. It was just another breakup. Or at least it was supposed to be.

At least Kevin can say something. "Maybe you should process what actually happened to you," he suggests.

"It didn't happen to me," Luke protests with a bittersweet laugh. "It happened to Janet."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is. I'm not the one who got shot and almost bled out on the pavement. I'm not the one who spent three hours in surgery at George Washington. I'm just the one who found out from fucking TV and showed up four days later..." He doesn't finish the sentence because his voice breaks, leaving him staring at his hands.

Luke doesn't look up until Janet finally says something. "It wasn't just me," she tells him. "Michael had to watch me bleed out under his hands until the paramedics got there. My team worked double time to help catch the people who did this. My parents, God knows what they felt. Two police officers died that day and two innocent people got shot. It didn't just happen to me, Luke," she insists, reaching to take one of his hands in hers. "It happened to you, too."

He stares at their hands for a moment before he can find his voice again. "What do I do?" he asks her, then looks at Kevin. "Tell me what to do."

"You go home," Kevin says in that same gentle but matter of fact tone. "Ryden will take your case. You go home, take a couple of days to yourself, and figure your shit out. Then you come back when you're ready."

"What if I can't figure it out?"

"You will." His best friend says it with the barest hint of a smile. "Because you're Luke Cameron."

That makes Luke chuckle despite himself. He's terrible at self-care and worse at feelings, and this incident won't change that. It takes several more years, his getting accidentally involved in a human trafficking case, and a bullet in his arm for him to be willing to develop his emotional shortcomings. But he understands that he needs a break if for no other reason than Kevin's right: he won't let his personal life affect his prosecutions. And Janet's words, her acknowledgement that she doesn't hate him anymore for letting her down, are just enough comfort for him to take it. "Don't say anything to anybody," he mutters.

"We won't." Kevin shakes his head. He doesn't know what he's going to say, because people will talk when they notice Luke is gone considering he's never gone, but he'll think of some excuse and Pat will help him cover because he can figure it out. The important thing is that his friend and colleague gets a chance to finally catch his breath. "Take him home, would you?" he asks Janet before he walks out the door. Luke mutters something else about how he can drive himself but still hands her the keys to his BMW anyway. He'll never let things get this bad again; even when the situation is worse, when Janet could've been shot dead in the courthouse parking lot, he holds it together because he's learned from this experience. He understands that he never wants to feel like this again.

Current Mood: exhausted

black tie with a switchblade;
Luke had asked Janet to meet him at the office. That probably should've been a sign, since many of their dates involved having to meet at the office instead of someone's apartment or the restaurant because they couldn't tear themselves away from work. But they both saw it as just the way things were (until Holden told Janet he'd pick her up for their first date), and in this particular case it came back to bite Luke in the ass.

He'd been working a case for the ATF and the lead investigator was pressuring him to utilize some evidence that he felt was shaky. Luke Cameron didn't let himself get pressured into anything, let alone something that would put his case at risk. And maybe he'd had a bad day, maybe it was the ethical implications in his head, but he lost it right after the agent told him that he was supposed to have their backs. "That's right, I am," he snapped, "and part of that includes making sure you don't fuck yourself."

"The handwriting analysis is probable, it's not certain," Luke continued, leaning forward on his desk. "It's good enough for an arrest warrant, but unless I can find an expert who says definitively it was him, it's also easy grounds for appeal when his lawyer says it's not and you knew that. I'm not risking your career and I'm sure as hell not risking mine." A sharp breath just to remind himself to breathe before he added, only slightly calmer, "Get out of my office."

Once he was left alone he took another deep breath before pushing back from the desk and undoing the knot in his tie. He was still bristling over the argument enough that he didn't even notice Janet come in until he was starting to change his shirt. "Hey," he said over his shoulder. "Thanks for meeting me. I've got this case that's a pain in the ass."

"I know," she replied, pulling up the same chair the ATF agent had almost knocked over. "I heard."

"You heard that? Shit." Luke shook his head while he pulled off one shirt and grabbed the other one off his desk. Maybe it was vanity, but he wasn't going to wear the same thing on their date that he had been wearing at work all day. "I'm sorry. I've just never bought into the idea that being on the same side means I'm supposed to go along with everything."

"You don't have to apologize," Janet assured him. He was upset and even if he hadn't been, she had just gained even more respect for him. She wanted to work with someone who valued her and her work enough to look out for her, even if it meant telling her that she was wrong. The irritation went both ways; as frustrated as agents could get with lawyers, there were also lawyers who could get full of themselves and wouldn't even think about someone else's career. "Are you sure you still want to go out?" she asked. "We don't have to if it's not a good night."

"No, of course I want to." Luke finished buttoning his shirt and tucked it into his slacks, giving her a slightly softer look now when he turned around to grab another tie. "I'll be fine in a few minutes."

He tried not to make her deal with his frustrations. He wasn't always successful, but it wasn't her fault that he was pissed. Something he'd get even more when the case actually went to trial and the defendant tried to claim self-defense. Luke didn't care about looking like an asshole in the public eye. He didn't always care what his friends and loved ones thought about him. But he did believe in making sure his emotions weren't projected onto the wrong person.

"How was your day?" he asked awkwardly as he shrugged his jacket on over his shoulders, even though his mind was still on his case.

"It was fine," Janet replied noncommittally, knowing that Luke didn't actually care. Or rather didn't have the presence of mind to care. The way his mind worked, he wouldn't be able to focus on anything that she told him even though he'd try. It'd take dinner and a few drinks for the irritation to pass and his mind to let that go so other things could take its place. "We got another case closed today. That means there's nothing on our desk."

"Good." Luke gave her a small smile as he grabbed his bag and walked out of his office with her. "Means we can have a few drinks and sleep in tomorrow."

She chuckled. "You wish," she replied. "I probably could but you'll be back here first thing in the morning." It came with a gentle nudge to try and make him laugh too, but they both knew she was right. He'd make sure this case was right in spite of the people he was working with.

Current Mood: aggravated

one;

The three of them are sitting in Luke's office. Michael looks nervous but Luke isn't focused on him. His eyes are locked on Janet's, at least as much as she'll look him in the eye. "You don't have to do this," he assures her. "We can make it work with just Michael." He knows the jury will love Michael's testimony like always and all he loses by not putting Janet on the stand is a victim impact statement. He can make that up in his closing. But he watches her bite her lip, the slight shift in her jaw: the little tells that she's debating within herself.

"I want to testify," she says.

Neither of them are particularly happy about it. They don't want her to relive getting shot over again or expose her to pointed questions during a cross-examination. But Luke believes that's her decision. She's the one who decides what she can handle and unless it jeopardizes his case he has no right to say otherwise. So despite Michael's look of resignation, he nods, folding his hands in his lap. "Okay," he says. "I'll get you ready."

"I'll be here."

Michael runs a hand through his hair, still looking at the side of Janet's head like he's begging her to change her mind. When she doesn't his eyes shift to Luke and he says, slightly pointedly, "Can I talk to you outside?"

"Even though I know what it's going to be about, yes," Luke replies and stands from the chair.

Michael turns on him as soon as they're out the door. "Are you sure about this?" he asks. "No," Luke admits. "But I'm gonna do what she wants to do. She adds value to the case and maybe it'll be good for her."

"How the hell is it gonna be good for her?" Michael retorts. "If a defense attorney rips her to shreds?"

"Hopefully that won't happen. They'd have to be pretty heartless to do that. They'll be more likely to go after you," Luke says. "But all I can do is prep her and do my best to protect her. If she wants to tell her story... She just wants to be heard."

Michael hasn't thought of it that way. He nods slowly, shoving his hands in his pockets. The most important thing to him will always be what's best for Janet and if she wants to speak her truth then he'll support that, even if it scares him. "Take care of her," he says. "Don't let her be a victim again."

"I won't," Luke promises without hesitation. "Whatever I have to do, I swear I won't." He means that and he needs it. After fucking up before this is his chance to make something right.

He spends the better part of a week in that office after hours with Janet, going over every word of her testimony and cross-examination. Sometimes they're there past midnight. She breaks down in tears more than once. But he stays in that room with her and hears every word.

two;

When court adjourns for the day he finds Janet sitting in the atrium. They've liked to come there as far back as he can remember—to have conversations or to clear their heads. This is both those things. He won't say he's checking on her after her testimony, but he absolutely is. "You did good," he tells her.

"I could hardly stand being in the same room with him."

"That's a natural reaction for most people who've been affected by a crime." Luke replies as he comes to sit beside her. He doesn't want to touch her in case she's upset so he folds his hands in his lap. "It was solid testimony. Between you and Michael and the other witnesses—"

"—You mean the widows of the officers they actually killed."

"Yeah." He nods. "We have more than enough. The physical evidence is a bit more difficult, but that's my job. You did what you had to do and now you leave it with me."

"I know. I just..." She exhales. "I see it and hear about it everywhere. And everyone's looking at me. And I want to punch him in the face, and I shouldn't feel like that."

"That's called being human." But the media coverage he can't do anything about. First National is the biggest case in the district in years and it's been all over the news channels for months. He understands why she'd want to get away from it all. "If you need somewhere to stay," he suggests after a moment. "If the attention's too much or you just want to get away for a while... Do you want to come and stay at my place?"

Janet glances up, the offer taking her by surprise. She'd spent more than a few nights at his apartment when they were dating. But there's something different about this in his tone and the look in his eyes. He wants to protect her and make her feel safe. It makes her smile as much as she can muster. "Thank you," she says. "But I'm going to be miserable company and you need to focus on the trial."

"It doesn't matter." He shakes his head. She's right that when he's mid-trial he prefers to zone in on his case. That was one of the flaws in their relationship before, that he prioritized being on top of his game over paying attention to or even remembering to call her. But he's willing to risk getting distracted this time if Janet doesn't want to be home alone afraid of anyone showing up on her doorstep. It's this trial that will prompt her to move to a different building with a doorman.

"I want you to focus on this trial," Janet says, staring off at the skyline, "and get a conviction." She can't bear to think of her shooter getting away with it. He can't take away the pain. He can't stop her panics. But the one thing she knows he can do, without a doubt, is make sure the person who caused it all is held responsible.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asks. The slightest desperation in his voice because he's wanted to do something to make up for what he failed to do. But Janet just shakes her head. "I don't even know what I'm doing," she says. "I wouldn't know what to tell you. Just... get this guy so I can sleep at night and that'll be enough."

three;

The jury convicts James Holland on all counts. Janet is the first person Luke looks at, even before he registers them or the defendant's reaction. He turns around to watch her in the gallery, her head dropping into her hands while Michael pulls her into his arms. He can only guess at the sense of relief she feels.

As soon as they're dismissed he makes a point of catching up before they can leave the courthouse. "Can you give us a minute?" he asks Michael, who nods and lets go of Janet's waist. He'd expected the prosecutor would want a word. "I'll meet you downstairs," he says and leaves them to it.

Luke sighs as Michael heads for the elevator. He has no idea what to say in this moment; he just knows he should say something and it's not telling her what Holland is likely to get at sentencing. "Are you feeling any better?" he tries. "Are you... What happens from here?"

"I go back to work. I've got cases on my desk." Janet shrugs; she'd been back on the job days after the shooting and she's been working this whole time, not willing to let her moral obligations go to take care of herself. "It's better knowing he'll be behind bars. That neither of them can hurt me ever again."

He nods, but Luke can see there's something she's holding back. "What?" he prompts.

"I don't think I can look at the world the same way anymore." Janet admits with the slightest crack in her voice. "How do I get past that? It feels stupid, because we risk our lives every day, but I... I can't stop seeing it. Seeing everything like it could hurt me or you or Michael and I just wish I could forget..."

Luke doesn't let her finish the sentence. He closes the short distance between them and pulls Janet into a hug. He can't make her feel any better about the world but he doesn't want her to feel worse about herself. His fingers brush her stomach and he can hear her sharp inhale. But that's the point. He wants her to know that even after her injury he still cares about her. Maybe even moreso knowing how he could have lost her and never had a clue until it was too late. "I'm sorry. For not being there," he says quietly against her shoulder. "But I'm here now."

He knows it won't be enough. But at least it's something. At least they've gotten through this and can look toward the future, whatever it may be. Luke doesn't believe their lives will ever be the same again but he won't tell her that. She doesn't deserve to have her heart broken again, certainly not by him when he's already broken it before.

Current Mood: working
Current Music: walk on | u2

as anyone with hot blood can;
Luke and Janet's first date is at Fiola Mare. He takes her to the same restaurant that presidents have dined at wearing his favorite tailored blue Armani suit. He is quite clearly showing off and she thinks it's a little bit pompous but she doesn't say anything because it's their first date. But she's already figured out the size of his ego. It's not something he tries to hide.

And it works for her—that he wants her this strongly, that someone is putting this much effort into her after not having dated anyone since high school. It makes her feel important.

He orders an expensive scotch and she orders the surf and turf. They end up talking about work, which probably should be a sign for how the relationship is going to go, but he's just made bureau chief a few months earlier and she's chasing a perfect clearance rate. They talk about the work things that make them crazy, able to laugh at them more with someone who shares the same frustration.

He takes her back to his place so she can pick up her car, but on the street he changes his mind and asks if she wants to come upstairs. Drunk and high on the attention, Janet pushes Luke up against his living room wall to kiss him. He doesn't complain at all, just pulls her into the bedroom to make sure they get there. When she's not there the next morning he's not sure if work called her in or she regrets sleeping with him. But he calls her anyway because it's the polite thing to do.

Luke and Janet's second date is to a Billy Joel concert. Luke is a Billy Joel fan and taking a chance that Janet will want to go with him to Constitution Hall. He figures if she doesn't, he can take Kevin. Janet's more confused by this than the expensive restaurant because it's so casual. Even if he paid for the VIP tickets.

"You want me to go with you?" she says and it throws him off guard. Is this too much? What if she hates Billy Joel and then we'll have to have a conversation, he thinks before he says a little defensively, "What's wrong with that? I like you and I like Billy Joel, and I want to take you out again."

"There's nothing wrong with it, I just didn't expect it," Janet admits. His tone makes her feel slightly embarrassed. "From the last time you seemed like everything was going to be a big deal."

Now Luke gets it. It's the first time but not the last he'll be a step too late in figuring out what she's feeling. Now he feels embarrassed. "It doesn't have to be," he replies, his tone softening. "I just wanted to see you again. You left before I could ask."

"I didn't want to make things awkward." A pause. "Like they're not awkward right now."

He chuckles softly. He's never exactly been able to figure out how to act around her. He always chalks it up to her being different but years from now he'll realize that it's a sign that they're not quite compatible. That while they care for each other and they'll fight for each other there was something missing that they didn't even know to look for. "It's fine," he assures her with a smile. "I'm just glad you want to go. I've really been looking forward to seeing you again. Like this."

"Yeah," she agrees. "Me too."

Unlike the last time, this date doesn't end with them back at his place or in bed together. Luke doesn't want to fight the traffic getting out of the venue so they detour to Constitution Gardens and end up looking at the Signers of the Declaration memorial. Neither of them are history buffs but they're both aware how much of it they're following. They're both trying to make history of their own someday.

"I had a really good time tonight," she tells him. "I totally caught you singing though."

Luke gives a chagrined laugh, rubbing at his forehead. "Well..." he trails off. "I can't believe you didn't know the words!"

"I know some of the words, I don't know all of them," Janet corrects. She wasn't going to risk saying the wrong ones and embarrassing them both. "I like seeing this side of you." Seeing him completely let his guard down and just be himself. After four years of friendship she knows Luke pretty well and it's rare he drops the persona for more than a short period of time. Why is something she'll never be able to figure out.

"Am I lucky enough to get a third date?" he asks, turning to her.

"Luke, you're not lucky." Janet corrects. "You're a good man." She slips her hand into his and he holds on. In later years they'll both wish they could get back to this moment, when things weren't so fucking complicated.

Current Mood: nostalgic

never argue with a crazy mind;
Luke is incredibly awkward when the door to the apartment opens and Holden is standing there. The only thing that makes it bearable is that he knows Holden feels equally awkward. "Hey," he says. "I'm supposed to pick Janet up for our meeting."

"I know." Holden replies. "She went down to get coffee. She should be back any minute."

Unbeknownst to Luke, Janet only asked him to meet her so she can make sure he's recovering okay after the Wexler case. Holden is aware of this and he also knows it's another Janet thing to run down and get him coffee since she won't be here to have breakfast with him. He'd wanted to point out that they own a coffee machine but didn't because he knows sometimes it's good to just let Janet take care of people. Which is why he's not bothered by her going to have breakfast with Luke at The Wharf. Both of them, however, are wishing she'd get back faster.

"How's the arm?" he says, needing to fill the silence and not having anything else to say.

"It's better. It still hurts like a bitch sometimes, but it should be fully healed in a week or so." Luke resists the urge to poke at it and prove that he's fine. "Thank you for coming to the hospital though. That was nice of you."

"Janet didn't want to go alone," Holden replies before realizing how callous that could sound. That feels wrong when Luke is trying to say something kind to him, so he awkwardly follows it with "As much as I don't like you, that doesn't mean I wanted you to get shot."

Luke chuckles. Both at the sentiment and because he can understand why the other man just threw it out there. He might have been likely to say the same thing, albeit with more sarcasm. Even when he downright hated Holden he would never wish a bullet in the arm on him, knowing how much he meant to Janet and deep down being aware that his dislike stemmed from jealousy rather than actually having a problem with Holden. It had just taken him a long time to admit that. It was easier to be a dick especially when the other party was equally fine not getting along.

But his opinion has changed drastically over the last few months. Part of it is realizing that Janet is really committed to Holden, and if she's chosen him, Luke can't keep tearing down someone that his friend loves. That's not fair to her. The other part of it is that Holden has proven he's better for her than Luke was or could be. Luke hates to lose, but when the evidence is there, he can admit when he's been beaten.

He also realizes he's been looking at the carpet for the last few minutes. "There's something I should tell you," he says, finally glancing up with a look that Holden won't ever have seen before. That vulnerability Luke likes to pretend doesn't exist but in this moment he wants Holden to know that he's sincere. "I wanted to... I never thanked you for saving Janet's life. With the Vincent case. And I..."

Fuck, why do the words hurt so much coming out? he asks himself. Why is this so difficult?

"I wanted to tell you that I'm glad she's with you." He finally just spits it out, even though his eyes drop to the expensive Rolex on his wrist when he says it. It's probably better that he misses the confused and then surprised look in Holden's eyes when the words register. Luke takes a deep breath and forces himself to keep talking. "You saved her life. You moved your life to be here for her," he says, finally looking up again. "You've kept her safe, and you'd obviously do anything for her. That's all I've ever wanted. You're the person she deserves to be with."

He clears his throat. He has no idea how to follow that admission. Holden doesn't know what to say to it either. He's never seen Luke as a serious threat to their relationship since their fight when Janet made it clear that she wasn't trying to get back with him. But he'd never expected Luke to say anything like that. To concede anything or even admit to having those kinds of feelings. It was a long way off from their lengthy text argument that had made them both look like assholes. Holden just stares, wanting to say something to what is an incredibly rough moment for Luke but not having a clue what the right words are.

"I..." he says. "I appreciate you saying that."

"Yeah, I just..." Luke is equally stunned by his own words. "Felt like I should."

He's glad they're both perplexed because that means they're not going to turn this into a discussion. He doesn't think he could focus on it any more than he already has. Mercifully then his phone rings and even Holden will recognize it as the melody from Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl."

"She's calling," Luke says, pulling the phone out before realizing what he's just admitted to. Both of them slightly cringe as he insists, "You didn't hear anything."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Holden replies. But Luke is sure he's never going to live this conversation down, and he's just going to have to be fine with that.

Current Mood: annoyed

burning like ash in the wind;
Luke Cameron remembers the exact moment he pissed off his boss. He and his predecessor had plenty of back and forth from his first month on the job as Luke never held his tongue, but they generally were able to resolve things. On the Carla Hammel case, though, Tanner Benton was unequivocally pissed off. Enough to pull him into Bryan Alexander's office and give him the third degree for refusing to drop it.

"You don't get to decide which cases we prosecute," Benton tells him.

"Well, maybe I should," Luke shoots back.

"It's a loser of a case—"

"—Do we do this to win or to do the right thing?" Luke snaps automatically, not realizing the volume of his voice until the words have left his mouth. He clears his throat awkwardly and mutters an apology that the U.S. Attorney waves off.

"It's okay," Bryan says. "I appreciate you caring that strongly about something." He glances out the window for an incredibly awkward moment before he decides. "Luke's right. This isn't something we should ignore. We may not win," he adds pointedly to them both, "but I'm willing to take the fall if he is."

"Yes, sir." Luke's response is automatic about that too.

He hates to lose. He judges his self-worth by his success in the courtroom and loathes it when a case slips through his fingers. He takes everything very personally. But he's willing to swallow his pride and his obsessiveness to make a scared young woman feel like she's been heard. To stand up when somebody fucking ought to. It might not win him any friends, and his boss might be pissed off at him for a bit, but the only opinion that matters is Carla Hammel's.

Bryan looks between the two of them. Benton still looks frustrated but Luke has an idealism in his eyes. More than his usual determination—a belief that he's doing something he has to do. He'll never forget that look. "Reassign the case to Luke," he tells Benton before glancing at Luke. "If we don't win this, you're going to be the one to explain it to her. And everyone else."

That kind of public embarrassment could destroy the reputation he's already worked so hard to build. Having to tell a hate crime victim that the man who terrorized her gets to go free would be worse. But the idea that they wouldn't even try to hold him accountable galls Luke even more. "I understand that," he says. "Are we done here?"

It goes on to become one of the defining moments of his career. Not only is he able to build a circumstantial evidence case, but Carla insists on putting herself on the stand. He works with her for days to prepare and her testimony is damning. Luke wins a conviction that gets him praise from social justice groups but he's only concerned with Carla, tells him she's changed her mind about leaving Washington because she's seen there are still good people. He doesn't know any of that when he leaves Alexander's office, though. He just knows he might have martyred himself in his third year, and if he did, it was for a good reason.

That night Luke calls Janet and asks her to meet him for a nightcap. "I don't know," he ruminates over his beer. "I just wanted to do the right thing. Not try to go to sleep knowing that someone else couldn't."

"You did the right thing," Janet corrects, reaching across the tabletop to cover his hand with her own. Luke glances down at it, surprised by the gesture of affection. "And you're going to do it again when you get a conviction."

"That part I'm not sure of." He can admit that to her. "But I'm sure as hell gonna try."

He takes another drink to finish off his beer before he pulls his hand back. "Thanks for coming out with me," he adds. "I just needed to get that off my chest. And hopefully I didn't just shoot my chances of making chief..."

A few years later when Benton retires and Bryan promotes Luke to bureau chief in charge of financial and property crimes, Janet will remind him of this conversation.

Current Mood: determined

funny how you can't remember;
"Hey, you trying to steal my guy?" Luke teases Janet, with a grin.

"Hardly." She laughs seeing him standing in the doorway. "I'm pretty sure we'd have to get room in the budget to hire another agent. And even if we did, Bryan Ritter isn't going to work anywhere else where he has to follow marching orders."

He chuckles at that; he could argue the point technically but knows that the U.S. Attorneys trust Bryan's judgment after years in the Secret Service, and while they give him orders they also let him run the investigative team his own way. "Maybe you're making another friend," he says in lieu of the argument. She'd be up to six by now. Luke shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he comes to sit on a desk in the financial crimes bullpen. "Did he help with whatever you needed?"

"Counterfeiting and assault, and yeah," she says with a nod. "He gave us some other directions to look in. What are you doing here?"

"I was gonna go out for dinner, thought I'd see if you wanted to go with me." He shrugs slightly. "With Holden out in South Carolina. If you didn't want to be alone." A pause and a self-deprecating laugh. "Why is this so awkward?"

"We've always been a little awkward," Janet corrects. "If we knew how to communicate, we wouldn't be exes." It was ironic how they were so outspoken and confident in their jobs and things that were connected to them but so vulnerable when it came to their personal lives. It wasn't just that they didn't know how to talk about normal things; they didn't bother to learn. But before he can wallow in that again she says, "Where are you going?"

"I hadn't figured that out yet."

"Why don't you come over?" she offers. "We'll get take-out and then I don't have to get someone to take care of the dog."

Luke glances up at that. Janet has made a gesture a few times, most recently inviting him to the FBI's Christmas party, trying to show him that he's still part of her social circle. Still welcome in her life. But he's always thought that her home was off limits to him now. Knowing that Holden and Janet had fought over him, that they were trying to build a life together in that apartment, he didn't want to make it worse. But maybe it's because he doesn't want to be alone tonight. Maybe it's because he doesn't want her to be alone. Whatever the reason, he finds himself nodding in agreement. "Sure," he says. "How do you feel about Mexican?"

"As long as I can get nachos," Janet replies, already walking back toward her office to get her things.

"Nachos aren't an entree," he protests. "They're an appetizer."

"Not if they're big enough."

"You're basically eating a pile of tortilla chips with some condiments."

"I can put chicken on them. Will that make you feel better?"

"It would actually, yes." Luke replies while his hands have somehow migrated to his hips. He sarcastically adds, "I wouldn't want your boyfriend coming back and kicking my ass if he found out you weren't eating properly."

"Holden wouldn't kick your ass." Janet shakes her head. This is only partially true. She's not sure Holden would kick anyone's ass, since she knows how much he dislikes violence, but if he was going to hit anyone it would probably be Luke. She doesn't voice this theory though as she slings her backpack onto her shoulder. She'll get to talk to Holden when he calls like he does every night and he's already said he's not going to get upset with her for having Luke over. "Come on. I'm already gonna get shit for being the last one out," she says, twirling Michael's keys.

Luke scoffs, holding the door for her when she catches up. "Aren't you always the last one out?" he says as she locks it behind them.

"Not over the last two years." Janet shakes her head. Now that she has someone to go home to she actually goes home. Holden doesn't always have that luxury but she tries to be there for him. "There are some bad habits you can break. You, though, are still here."

"Maybe you're my bad habit."

"Please, nobody else is going to agree with you," she says and Luke knows it. He's unquestionably the asshole in almost every situation. But just as easily as she jokes, Janet turns to him and smiles. "It's nice that you thought of me," she continues. Maybe one of these days he'll be able to take the compliment as well as the snark.

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: don't feel like cryin' | abra moore

another victim of ordinary fame;
Luke Cameron is supposed to meet Janet Ford at ten o'clock. Instead he meets her at nine-thirty when he hits a fleeing defendant with his car.

They're both in the parking garage when the five-time robbery suspect comes running by them having escaped his latest arraignment. Janet and her partner Michael Davis are just stepping out of their car when he passes by. But just as she's turning to pursue, Luke is arriving in his Mercedes C-Class looking for a parking space. He knows a runner when he sees one and purposefully slams on his brakes so Joseph Brooks ends up colliding with his hood. Janet holds him in place until the bailiffs catch up moments later and take Brooks into custody, leaving the Assistant U.S. Attorney looking at the FBI agent and trying not to laugh.

"That's not how I was supposed to start my work day," Luke deadpans because there is nothing that could come out of his mouth to make this make any sense. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Janet shakes her head and then politely offers him a hand. "Janet Ford, FBI. This is my partner, Michael Davis."

"Agent Ford? You're my ten o'clock." He chuckles as he shakes her hand before remembering his car is still stopped in the middle of the aisle. "Let me park and then I'll walk you up."

The meeting is nothing important—the first pre-trial conference in their young careers. Michael and Janet have been on the job for a month and Luke is just about as green as that. The three of them go through the motions efficiently and square everything away for a case that won't even make it to trial when Luke negotiates a plea deal a week later. The whole threat of going to trial is actually a bluff but Janet won't know that until two weeks afterward when she calls to ask why he hasn't called her. That's when she realizes Luke is a crafty son of a bitch. But the conversation in his office is what clues them both in to the fact they're going to be stuck with each other for a while, and not just because he's one of the U.S. Attorneys assigned to their section.

"How long have you been on the job?" she asks.

"Six months."

"And you're driving a Mercedes and wearing Armani."

That makes him laugh. "It's a C-Class," he says like that makes his choice of luxury car palatable. "And I saved up for the suit. What about you?"

"One month and three days."

"Not like you're counting." A small smile. "You're good at what you do. I've never seen paperwork prepared as well as this."

"In six months?"

"You'd be surprised how hard it is to do paperwork." Luke stacks it all on his desk and puts it back into the appropriate folder. "A lot of officers are so focused on catching the bad guy that they're not as sharp about the procedural specifics."

"I wouldn't see why." Janet shrugs. "It's part of the job."

She walks out after that to catch up with her partner while he nods to himself. Janet's exactly right and Luke appreciates that someone shares his ability to see the full picture of the judicial process. In six months he's already been around long enough to know some people only consider the part that gets them a win. And for years later, after they've proven themselves to each other and become friends, they'll laugh about the fact that a relationship so intense started over something so mundane. A conversation like that now would seem almost out of character.

"Can you believe we bonded over paperwork?" he says one night over a beer in his apartment, and Janet laughs. "What I wouldn't give for paperwork to be our biggest problem now."

"I dunno. I think we were always headed here." Luke catches himself shrugging this time. "We've both decided that we're going to take on the world. We decided that since we were teenagers. It's no wonder we got stuck with each other."

"We do have a lot in common." Janet gives him a gentle look and he can't stop himself from taking his free arm and wrapping it around her shoulders. Years from now they'll have less in common as trauma changes the way they look at the world. She'll want less of this life and the same trauma will make him want more. But they'll always have that first day to look back on and realize that it wasn't about the strange way in which they met, but that they were both so committed to the right thing that they did it in even the most absurd circumstance.

Current Mood: amused

always more to stories never told;
Luke's second therapy session starts off on a better note than his first. As in at least he's not actively bitching about being there. "I got some strange but good news," he tells Christie when she asks how his week has been. "Janet asked me to come with her to the FBI Christmas party." It had thrown him for a loop considering that he hadn't been there in years—and she had a boyfriend, whom he assumed wouldn't want her anywhere near him. Let alone as her date to anything. He'd asked Janet if she was sure twice.

"You sound pleasantly surprised," Christie says.

"I stopped being invited when we broke up... the last time," Luke replies, chuckling because he always has to qualify it considering the number of times he and Janet had called time on their relationship over five and a half years. "And I doubly wouldn't be invited when she's seeing someone else, who actively hates me. But I guess Holden didn't want to go, so, I'm pretty much the choice by default." Since Michael will already be there and Janet's other close friend Brad Leonpacher is in Miami.

( cut for length )

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: where we were before | blessid union of souls

scared to show your feelings;
Luke's first therapy session starts with him immediately regretting the decision to go to therapy. He actively avoids talking about his feelings because he doesn't know how to handle them correctly and he refuses to put himself in situations he can't win or that will end up hurting anyone he cares about. But he reminds himself as he eyes the door in Christie's office that his unwillingness to access his feelings is exactly why he's ended up in this situation to begin with, and that it's not going to get any better if he keeps behaving the way he is, so he takes a deep breath and looks at her as if to tell her to get on with it.

"What brought you to therapy?" she asks even though she asked him that when he called to make the appointment. "Well, almost everyone else I know is doing it," Luke replies reflexively before he shifts his jaw and forces himself to curb the sarcasm. "I was shot a week ago," he tries again. "That's not the kind of thing that happens to me. Neither are a bunch of things that have happened in the last three years. I don't feel like I have control over my life anymore and I need to get it back."

"Why do you need to be in control?"

( cut for length )

Current Mood: morose
Current Music: demons | brian mcfadden

you say it's never easy;
"This isn't gonna get any easier," Luke tells Janet sincerely and in that moment he doesn't much care if she hates him. He's willing to do anything it takes for her to get her life back. Right now that means pushing her so she doesn't give up on herself.

The two of them don't talk about it but Luke was instrumental in Janet being able to pass her Bureau physical and return to active duty. When she'd finished physical therapy and needed to get back into shape, he was the one who was there. Luke was in the gym three times a week anyway, always wanting to be in shape himself and channeling whatever frustrations work gave him into his workout, and he made that decision for both of them. "You're coming with me," he told her when she expressed concern about being good enough. "We're going to take care of this."

Her leg has just given out and caused her to collapse on the treadmill. Luke catches her before she goes completely down and helps her to sit down on a nearby weight bench. He can see the pain on her face and the way she's gasping for breath. Of course he's worried about her, because he loves her and he never wants to see her suffer like this. But it's because he loves her that he's willing to be the bad guy in this situation. He'd rather she direct her anger and frustration at him than tear herself down yet again thinking she can't do this. Luke has witnessed Janet's self-destructive behaviors a lot over the years, and he's kind of tired of them.

"I know," she replies between ragged breaths. "Easy for you to talk when you don't have to live like this."

"You don't either if you put in the work to fix it," he retorts without hesitation. "Yeah, it fucking hurts, Janet, but guess what? You were shot three times. It's supposed to hurt. There's no easy way around it."

"It all still hurts," she tells him. "My back still bothers me where the bullets went in. It's healed but I still feel pain. And my fucking leg is a mess. I can walk to the fridge but I still can't sleep on it and I obviously can't run."

"It's a long-term injury. It's going to take time." Luke is talking out his ass, honestly, because his only medical knowledge comes from expert witnesses he's called in various cases but he's pretty sure what Janet has been through would be called long-term and that the aches and pains are part of the healing process. "You have to keep working at it. And we're going to keep working at it." Because he's not letting her off the hook. She doesn't get to give up when he thinks she needs to be out in the field closing cases. The Janet Ford he knows is a field agent whose fight is her best quality. She needs to be physically able to take those risks.

That doesn't mean he doesn't have empathy for her. Luke follows up that emphatic statement with a gentle squeeze of her shoulder. This isn't the last time he'll pick her up off the floor or hold her while she cries because it's too much. She has his complete support as they go through this process and he's never going to tell anyone about it. But this is something he can do for her that he didn't do before. He wasn't there the first time she was shot, out of fear and his own emotional confusion, and he's attempting to do better this time. Even though they're not together anymore he still wants to show that he cares.

"Take as long as you need," he encourages. "Is there anything that's seriously hurt?" When Janet shakes her head Luke hands her his water. "Take a drink, relax, and when you're ready we'll start over again."

They do this for months until Janet's planned physical date comes up. And together with the care and support she's getting from Holden and Michael, she's able to pass the test and get certified for the field much easier than she expected. She doesn't mention who she's been meeting at the gym but she calls Luke from her car and lets him know that she's passed. "I told you, you could do it," is all he says from his desk. "Congratulations, Janet."

They don't need to talk about it. About the time he's devoted to her and the emotional moments of watching her try and fail and be vulnerable. He knows she appreciates him without her having to say it and she knows he's content to stay in the background, knowing his place in her life has been taken by somebody else. But Janet's always grateful for what Luke has done for her and years later, when he catches a bullet in the arm, he thinks back on this. His injury is nowhere near as serious and doesn't require rehab but he knows Janet wouldn't let him bitch about it either. He needs to fight the way he pushed her to fight.

"How's the arm?" she asks the first time she sees him back at work.

"It's fine," he says on reflex before remembering who he's talking to. "It's good," he says more honestly. "It hurts a lot at the end of the day but I'm taking painkillers and working on it."

Janet nods. "Don't rely too heavily on the Advil," she says, thinking about Michael and his bruised back just a few months earlier. Medication had its place but it couldn't be all they did to take care of themselves. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." Luke gives her a small smile in return knowing she'll always be there for him. But rather than say that, especially after their last conversation about him not constantly running to her, he says, "I'll be okay. You don't need to worry about me."

Current Mood: determined
Current Music: us | celine dion

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Assistant U.S. Attorney Luke Cameron

August 2026

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Assistant U.S. Attorney Luke Cameron

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devil you know, part 1

every game you play

turn the sound up

one you left behind

through the fire;

you'll do what you will do;

through the hourglass, i saw you

love and lie

take you to the good times;

drown in good intentions

black tie with a switchblade

what you can't leave behind

as anyone with hot blood can

never argue with a crazy mind

burning like ash in the wind

funny how you can't remember

another victim of ordinary fame

always more to stories never told

scared to show your feelings

you say it's never easy